“Do something!” “Try it!” “Go for it!” “Be better!” “Get it done!” These phrases – and variations of them, with or without the exclamation points – are all over the place. Whether it’s a personal growth seminar, T-shirt, bumper sticker, social media meme, or a New Year’s Resolution, it always seems to be about action, doesn’t it?
Society places a premium on action and results, and I guess in a world where money and prestige hold the power positions, that makes sense. Bosses want productivity, parents expect achievement from children, and therapists (and their patients!) expect some kind of growth and progress on issues. It’s only natural! And, by the way, perfectly reasonable.
But I’d like to suggest there’s another way to live – a way that can also bring amazing benefits and results (such as less anxiety, less boiling blood, and more calm), if we understand it: Doing nothing.
Give Nothing a Chance
I know how “doing nothing” sounds. In fact, in my years of talking about the idea of Nobody Life, running The Nobody Guide to Life podcast, and giving a TEDx talk on the power of being Nobody, it’s become clear there’s great resistance to the idea – and most of it stems from a misunderstanding of what “nothing” and “do nothing” really means.
Doing nothing doesn’t mean we don’t ever say or do anything. We’re not blobs of goo, after all…we’re beings with will, desire, and agency. We can take action or, even bold action! Especially when someone is in dire need or an emergency arises.
What we’re speaking of here is this: In the normal ebb and flow of life, day to day, instead of feeling like we always have to be in motion and in action, sometimes we can:
- Step back
- Create room
- Hold space
- Exercise restraint
- Promote patience
In practical terms, it means we sometimes need to:
- Look before leaping
- Clear clutter in our outside world before cramming our world with more stuff
- Let someone process for a moment before we give advice
- Let situations play out for a bit before we jump in to help
- Think before we act
Only when the time is right, do we act, speak, help, advise, etc.
Easier said than done, right? Yes, but “nothing” is an art. A discipline. Something to work on through the years of a personal growth journey.
Doing Nothing Is an Ancient Concept
Wu wei is a concept from Taoism and Lao Tzu’s Tao Te Ching, and, it’s often translated as “actionless action,” or “non-action.” I know how that sounds, but the idea is actually quite amazing and sensible…and it’s this: Often, the best course of action is no action at all – resolving to not resist obstacles, but instead, allowing ourselves to simply…well…be with them.
Now, that doesn’t mean we never ever act under any circumstances (as we said, emergencies happen, people need help, and there are rules to follow out there). Rather, it’s about taking the right action at the right time. When we do act, we make the moves or say the words that are appropriate to the circumstances, and not knee-jerk, emotional reactions.
Consider Chapter 43 of the Tao Te Ching:
The softest things of the world
Overrun the hardest things of the world.
Non-being can enter where there is no space in between.
Thus I know that non-action has benefits.
The teaching of no-talking,
The benefit of non-action –
Few in the world attain these.
Flowing water cut the hard rock of the Grand Canyon. Silence can disarm an argument. Holding space for a friend as they process a painful experience can work wonders.
See, there are times when a situation will resolve just fine without your intervention. People can settle minor disputes, co-workers can work things out, and some cuts heal without constant pressure and attention.
And admit it – sometimes you make things worse when you get involved (I’m looking at you, person who gives relationship advice to friends who don’t ask for it).
When you do nothing – or do something at the right time – you’re joining a proud tradition of stepping back, taking a breath, and being patient. Nice, right?
5 Ways You Can Practice Doing Nothing, Right Now!
So, how can we cultivate the habit of doing nothing in lives that seem to be pulling us into action? Well, it doesn’t have to involve a massive change to your lifestyle or a trip to a distant cave in a far-off land.
Start right in the life you have. Here are 5 suggestions for doing nothing:
1. Set aside 5-10 minutes for meditation or mindfulness in the middle of your day. Commit to watching your breath flow in and out. And here’s the key: Don’t adjust it. Don’t interfere with it. Just watch it. Let breath be your greatest teacher. If your mind kicks in with a to-do list, just refocus on your breath.
2. Hold space, instead of filling it. If a friend is having an issue, and they want to process it with you, just listen. Really listen, with your full being, without interruption or judgment. Try to avoid giving advice until you’re asked.
3. Stop before you speak (or text, or email). We all have urges at one time or another to fire off an angry or emotional communication. But practice a pause before you react. If a friend, family member, or stranger pushes a button, stop yourself. Set a timer on your phone for five minutes, and take no action until the chime. Then, see how you feel about things.
4. Leave it alone. This is related to number three but goes a step further. If you encounter an angry store clerk, irate driver, unreasonable friend, or any other variety of annoyance, don’t escalate the situation. Leave it. Just leave it alone. Or, simply smile, watch it pass, then move on without fanning the flames. This can be a difficult practice, so start consciously, and start small.
5. Sit still and don’t do anything in particular. You don’t have to take on a practice or make a big commitment to practice doing nothing. Go the old fashioned way: Just sit in a chair for 10 minutes with no phone, no computer, and no agenda…just sit.
Doing nothing can change your life…or, at least be a nice complement to the tasks you do in your day. Give it a try! (Or, don’t try it at all…)
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If you’d like to explore coaching around the practice of doing nothing – or maybe deepening your commitment to meditation or mindfulness – let’s work on it together!