A test of patience
A while back, I had a question for a state agency. I kinda knew the answer already, but I wanted to be sure.
After navigating menu after menu of voice prompts, I was put in the dreaded queue.
The digital voice announced, “You are currently 45th in line.”
I decided to hang up and just go with my feeble internet research and relatively well-informed hunches (I don’t recommend that approach for everyone, by the way).
Not my finest hour
I probably failed that test of patience. I had an opportunity to prove my mettle, and, well…I hung up on it.
In fact, I couldn’t hang up fast enough!
But it got me thinking about a question a coaching client once asked me: “If you had to pick one thing to work on for the rest of your life, what would it be?”
My answer came fast and sure: patience.
I said it was because, in my opinion, patience is the gateway to all other good things…and I struggle with it.
It’s well worth our effort to work on.
Patience: A superpower
The Cambridge Dictionary definition of “patience” is a good one: “The ability to wait, or to continue doing something despite difficulties, or to suffer without complaining or becoming annoyed.”
Read that 22 times and consider how it would feel to master it.
I know my life would look less like a ball of stress and more like a soap commercial from the 90s where someone sniffs a smooth, fragrant bar on a bench in Ireland – as carefree as the wind. Just the fresh scent of…soap.
Imagine holding on the phone without getting annoyed. Imagine pushing through life’s trials and obstacles with optimism. Imagine taking on all the day has to offer, without complaint!
It’s a dream.
But we can get better at patience with a little work!
Working on patience
We’re all in a rush. We want faster Wi-Fi. We get annoyed with stuff that doesn’t move as fast as we’d like.
But the more that impatience creeps in, the higher our stress levels rise, and the lower our mood.
However, we can build our patience muscles. Try one (or more!) of these:
1. Repetition, repetition, repetition. Just like at the gym, resistance builds strength. If a friend pushes your buttons, test yourself in the next text exchange and try sending them good vibes. If an emotional or enraging email pops up, wait 15 minutes to respond. Binge watch a season of your favorite show, but try to leave the exciting conclusion for the next day.
2. Let go. You can control your driving habits, but not other drivers. If someone cuts you off, try to drop the heavy emotions – including anger – and replace it with a smile or a nod. If you’re stuck on hold with, say, a government agency, put the speaker phone on and find something productive to do – and drop the frustration.
3. Be mindful. If you’re here…now…and accepting the moment, you can monitor your thoughts and feelings. You may even be able to control them with your breath or mind. Don’t think about what you’re impatient to experience. Instead, focus on where you are.
4. See through another’s eyes. If the clerk at the store is taking a long time, consider that it may have been a long day for them. If your child is lollygagging instead of getting something done, remember how you were at their age.
Understanding breeds patience, and vice versa.
Patience is the glue that holds us together
Here’s the MtE tip: Practice patience.
So much good comes from patience. So much positivity can come through if we let go of what we can’t control…and if we allow.
If something (or someone) pushes your impatience button, it’s a lesson. Learn from it. Become more tolerant of the flow of life – no matter its pace.
Are you a patient or impatient person? How do you build your patience superpower? Let us know!
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To dive deeper into strategies for managing stress and anxiety – and building patience – check out my book, An Audible Silence; or schedule a free 15-minute call to see if coaching might be right for you. For even more, follow me on Instagram or TikTok.
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(NOTE: This post is not medical or mental health advice or diagnosis, and is solely for informational/entertainment purposes. If you need physical or psychiatric care, please reach out to a trained and licensed medical professional.)