A wild ride down memory lane
Here’s a thing I do sometimes: I sift through my memories and try to find unlikely connections that led to something totally unexpected.
Maybe it’s the series of events that took me across the country from a tiny eastern town where I’d skip rocks in the Great Lakes as a young kid, to a dry, lake-less city where I would eventually meet my wife thirty years later.
Or maybe it’s the unlikely patchwork of job switching and mish-mashed degrees that everyone questioned, but that made me the perfect candidate for a dream job 15 years ago.
It’s quite a ride through the dusty memories in the ol’ noggin. You should try it.
Anyway, this exercise usually leads me to the same place each time: Gratitude. Gratitude for the events of life I didn’t always appreciate at the time, but that brought me to a place I wouldn’t trade for all the “what-ifs” in the world.
What is gratitude?
Here’s an interesting definition of gratitude:
“A sense of happiness and thankfulness in response to a fortunate happenstance or tangible gift.”
I like this definition for two very specific reasons:
- It includes the woefully underused term “happenstance”
- It includes “happiness”
I think the little exercise I do with my thoughts is in line with this definition. I like to see where in my life happiness happened because of happenstance or “gifts.”
Another definition is: “Gratitude refers to the appreciation of what is valuable and meaningful to oneself – it is a general state of thankfulness and/or appreciation.”
Simple, right?
Gratitude is about thankfulness and appreciation.
But it’s also about what’s meaningful.
If a person has a billion dollars in the bank and someone gives them ten dollars, it may not mean much to them.
But that same ten bucks given to a person who uses it to purchase food to help them stay alive could bring oceans of grateful tears.
We should focus on gratitude because it turns our gaze not to what’s given, but to what’s meaningful.
Gratitude – a healthy virtue
The Roman statesman and philosopher Cicero said that gratitude is not only a great virtue, but it is the parent of the other virtues.
I think there’s a lot of truth to that. Gratitude brings with it a sense of joy and appreciation, but it also brings humility – an acknowledgment that someone has extended themselves toward us in some meaningful way, and we are happy for the help.
If you’re looking for a building block for personal growth, gratitude seems to be a good foundation.
Also, according to UCLA Health, it’s healthy for you. Gratitude practice has been shown to:
- Improve sleep
- Relieve stress
- Lessen anxiety
- Reduce depression
- Support heart health
- Increase self-esteem
- Increase life satisfaction
- Increase strong social relationships
UCLA says gratitude practice 15 minutes a day, five days a week, for six weeks can boost mental wellness even more, and possibly even change your perspective on life.
It’s worth thinking about.
Ways to get into gratitude
Here’s the MtE tip: Find gratitude in life, anywhere you can
I know how the world looks right now. It can be scary and stressful.
But the danger is that we focus so much on that, we forget the good things, no matter how small.
You don’t have to wake up every day in a dense fog of positivity and joy to do simple gratitude exercises. You just need a little willingness to give the good some attention.
Here are some ways to start:
- Journal. This comes up a lot in growth and wellness, and for good reason. When you write something down, you own it. And, you can reflect on it. Take five minutes before bed and write out some small things in the day you’re grateful for.
- Say a power phrase. Close your eyes. Take a few deep breaths. Repeat, “I am grateful for life and its gifts.” Just open up to that. Meditate on that. See where it takes you. You might be surprised.
- Become a gratitude generator. Thank people all day. Express appreciation to a server for their attention to detail. Tell folks in your life how much you appreciate them. Spread that gratitude butter thick on life’s bread. Don’t hold back.
- Be someone’s reason to be grateful. Give people a chance to be grateful. Leave a bigger tip. Be a patient customer. Do someone a small (or big) favor. Be someone else’s reason to be grateful.
If you root around in your mind long enough, you’ll find a special memory – one that shows you a gift or happenstance that got you to something better.
When you find it, thank it.
Then, go out in the world and find things here…now…today to be grateful for.
You’ll thank yourself later.
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(NOTE: This post is not medical or mental health advice or diagnosis, and is solely for informational/entertainment purposes. If you need physical or psychiatric care, please reach out to a trained and licensed medical professional.)